Saturday, December 10, 2011


I need a magic button. One that can take me back or forward in time, depending on my need. WOuldn't that be nice? A way to erase the embarassing, the accidental, the tragic moments in your life. But then, I'd also need a memory wiping button too. Or maybe just a memory adjuster. SOmething to take out the parts I didn't want, but keep the related good memories. Someone else can deal with inventing this thing, I just need to aquire one.

Of course, you would need to work out how to fill the gaps in memory. I suppose that's something that would have to built into this type of device. I don't think I'm the person to ask about the details, I just provide the need (and basic concept). 

I know that our experiences are supposed to help us grow and make us into who were are supposed to be come, but I'm just not happy with where I am right now, and going back or forward in time might help remove some of that unhappiness. Sort of that'road not taken'theory. 

Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had chosen a different direction in your past? I wish there were a way to look at my alternate reality and make a choice of which one I'd like to live in. Should be ok, right? I mean if there's a different reality for me, that means there's a different me living that other reality, so we should both be able to switch - or, better yet, if I'm the primary 'me', then I should be able to choose which reality I live in. 

It's nice to dream. I often wonder (but don't ask), if others feel the same way. All those individual decisions made over time, that lead up to wher I currently am. And those future decisions, waiting to be made to direct my life on its winding path. 

However, now I have to stop and wonder, if I go back and change things, or undo things, will I get the results I expect (and do I expect specific results, or just want something different from what it is now?). 

Maybe I just need to do something different with my life. Go back to school, get a different degree (since the one I currently hold hasn't done anything for me lately). And who is going to pay for that? And when, exactly, would I do that? I need a longer day. Or less work. Or something... Would be nice though, going back into that world of learning and knowledge and new experience. Remove myself from the world of work, daily drudgery, general malaise at everyday reality. 

Time travel. That's what I'd like to experience. Not the past, I already know my past. Not interested in my past, I'd like to see the future - kind of like Ebenezer Scrooge did. With the option to change it, if I didn't like what I saw. 

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